Until the sun gets its skates on and achieves a decent elevation in order to spread its rays over the lip of the canyon that is the Augustinerstrasse, I won't even consider this place as a viable alternative to the tin shed on wheels.
This might be somewhat macabre and in (the usual) bad taste, but the first thing that came to mind when walking past the Senior's Village in Gonsenheim this afternoon was Martin Scorcese's 1974 film "Alice doesn't live here any more"
"Well" I said "I guess Alice won't be living here that long, either. Given that this appears to be a God's Waiting Room " which earned me the usual verbal abuse and threats of GBH.
If you ever get over to our neck of the woods, this is a worthwhile day's outing - the Rheinsteig, a 250 km hiking track from Wiesbaden to Bonn.
Not in one go, of course, although my mate Simon thought I'd be up to it.
It's in easy 22km sections through woods and vineyards along both sides of the Rhine.
Getting up there can be a bit tricky, though.
Set off yeserday from Lorch on the other side of the river and dutifully followed the signposts, registering the information that it might get a bit dodgy in inclement weather. (Sun's shining, what are they talking about?)
Vertical outcrops of slate, that's what they're talking about.
I was in mountain goat-mode in a flash, but my trusty companion, Ms Sherpa B, needed a bit of encouragement to make it over the last crevasse.
Cattle prods and whips tend to do the trick, I find... But once you're up there, you've got breathtaking views and masses of wild hellebores.
Nice mug of hot chocolate at the Gonso cafe on the way home.
There's Rosenmontag - Rose Monday - of course, which is the culmination of the madness, before everyone settles down for Ash Wednesday, Lent and an extended period of penance.
And then there's the Thursday before Rosenmontag - Weiberfastnacht. (Wimmin's Carnival)
Started out in Beuel - now a suburb of Bonn - in the mid-1800s as an attempt by the stroppy wimminfolk of the village to storm the gender barriers and achieve carnivalistic equality.
It's developed into an alcohol-fuelled orgy of symbolic emasculation by cutting off men's neck attire and compensating them with a kiss. Or whatever.
Booze and hormones never being the best of bedfellows (if you'll forgive the pun...), things tend to get out of hand....
The outfit I worked for had its corporate HQ at one time in Cologne and there used to be a veritable annual pilgrimage from the operational hub in Frankfurt by people who had "urgent business meetings" - nod, nod, wink, wink - to attend on the day.
An appropriate euphemism would be "Succession Management"...
And it really is dangerous to wear a tie on the day. I used to go into Steve Jobs-mode and you'd have to warn visiting customers to wear something ugly and polyester.
You'd think that executive secretaries would show some respect for the CEO of a Key Account customer though.